Last night a cute blonde girl bought me a drink. However, she knew me because she’s my kids’ summer camp counselor. This incident got me thinking about how you know you’re old—today is my 53rd birthday. So I decided to start a list: You know you’re old when…

  1. A cute blonde buys you a drink, and she’s your kids’ summer camp counselor.

  2. You have to leave the place where she bought you the drink because the music is too loud for your tinnitus.

  3. You leave by jumping in your filthy minivan.

  4. You stop on the way home to buy baby-bottle liners.

  5. You cancel your babysitter at summer camp because you’re too tired to go out at 9:00 pm.

  6. The only CDs that you buy are from Starbucks. (My wife thought of this one.)

Please add your ideas to this list so that we may commiserate!

You know you’re old when you feel like that you should answer your Facebook birthday wishes (over 100) and then Facebook smacks you down.