Dear God,

Mea culpa: because one of the Garage portfolio companies, FilmLoop, wrote a Windows version of its product before a Macintosh version, I’ve had to use a Windows laptop for demos. It is one of those tiny Sony Vaios—I don’t even know the model number because I didn’t bond with it.

This is the first time I used Windows for more than fifteen minutes at a time, and the experience has made me a better Macintosh evangelist. I simply cannot comprehend how people put up with Windows—but ragging on Windows isn’t the topic of this blog.

I must admit that the Tiny Vaio did remove the scales from my eyes about what a Tiny Laptop can do. (I owned at 12 inch PowerBook, so I thought I knew. Silly me.) Here’s what I liked about the Tiny Vaio:

  • It weighs nothing. I have cell phone adapters that weigh more.
  • Its battery lasts forever. Five hours is not unusual. It should come with the same FDA warning as Viagra: If you have an erection that lasts more than four hours, seek medical attention.
  • A drop-dead beautiful screen.
  • A PCMCIA slot.
  • A CD-RW/DVD-ROM drive.
  • It doesn’t require a special dongle to drive a monitor or projector.

We’re about a week from Macworld Expo, and I am not privy to any confidential information because I’m a has-been in the Apple world. (For example, like any schmo, I stand in line at the Apple store and pay full retail.) But, dear God, here is my dream PowerBook:

  • Real-world battery life of five hours where real-world is defined as sitting on an airplane answering email as fast as you can.
  • Run Windows XP. Running simultaneously with the Macintosh OS would be sweet, but I’m not greedy; I’ll reboot if I have to lower myself. However, God, if you want Apple to ever penetrate big companies, this would sure help.
  • 150 gigabyte internal drive. Thanks to Aperture, I’ll be shooting RAW images, so don’t blame me for my larger storage needs.
  • Tiny where tiny = under three pounds. The Tiny Vaio is just about the right size and weight for a road/presentation warrior—not everyone has their own Gulfstream.
  • PCMCIA slot. This slot is very useful for card readers to upload digital photos and for EVDO cards. The Tiny Vaio has it, so should my next PowerBook.
  • Super duper drive. The Tiny Vaio has it, so should my next PowerBook.
  • Two USB ports: one for a mouse and one for a thumb drive because both are needed at the same time.
  • Firewire port so I can back up rapidly.
  • Bluetooth so I can synch my Nokia phone. Too bad Nokia doesn’t believe Macintosh users synch up their phones, but that’s a minor detail.
  • Ethernet and built-in 802.11 for obvious reasons.
  • Use the same power adapter as the current PowerBooks. Some sadist at Apple changes the adapter every few models—this means that people like me have to buy two new adapters: one for the office and one for the briefcase. Three if you count the one I will lose. Changing is fine if the new adapter works twice as fast or something like that, but otherwise, slide “the rest of us” a break.
  • No requirement for a monitor/projector dongle. The aforementioned Apple sadist also forces me to buy four dongles: one for home, one for the office, two for my briefcase (because I must carry an extra one when I make presentations, and you never know when you’ll lose one like the time a speaker at the Craig’s List NFP bootcamp swiped mine). Make it five if you count the one I will lose.

I’ve been good this whole year, so God, how about it? The Christmas rush is over.

Written at Ilikai Hotel, Honolulu, Hawaii