Last Post of 2006

For the last post of 2006, here is a funny comment from The Secret Diary of Steve Jobs blog:

The Days Before PodPhone

Twas a few days past Christmas and all through the house,
Vista was waiting to hear from your mouse.

Jim Allchin retired and bought a nice Mac.
He transferred his data and didn’t look back.
Steve Ballmer had nightmares of market-share loss
and wondered if next year he’d still be the boss.

The tired Vista team were asleep in their beds
while Russians with botnets built bugs in their heads.

When over at Apple there arose such a clatter
the bloggers all rushed in to see what’s the matter.
The minutes of meetings of dubious truth
had pushed Apple stock prices off of the roof!

The SEC lawyers, so lively and quick
looked into the options that CEO’s nicked.

Steve Jobs used a strange phone to make many calls;
He fired some frigtards and showed his big balls!
Out Anderson!
Out Heinen!
Out anyone lacking!
You’re fired! Clear your desks out!
I’m sending you packing!

And then, in a twinkling, the RDF came.
The SEC lawyers cleared Steven Jobs name.

He showed up at Macworld in mock turtleneck
and demoed cool things to keep Vista in check.

But lastly he paused, and said, “One more thing:
I’m waiting for Shiller to give me a ring.”
His jeans played some Dylan
I think “Times a-changing”
He answered an iChat with greetings exchanging!

He slid closed the Podphone on ending the call
and said “Happy Macworld,
Happy Macworld to all!”


All I want in 2007 is a Macintosh laptop whose battery lasts more than 2.5 hours. Happy New Year to all!

By |2016-10-24T14:23:09+00:00December 31st, 2006|Categories: Apple|Tags: |13 Comments

About the Author:

Guy Kawasaki is the chief evangelist of Canva, an online graphic design tool. Formerly, he was an advisor to the Motorola business unit of Google and chief evangelist of Apple. He is also the author of The Art of Social Media, The Art of the Start, APE: Author, Publisher, Entrepreneur, Enchantment, and nine other books. Kawasaki has a BA from Stanford University and an MBA from UCLA as well as an honorary doctorate from Babson College.


  1. Valeria Maltoni December 31, 2006 at 10:21 am - Reply

    What fun! Guy, best wishes for a happy ending and an even more remarkable 2007.

  2. Julian Schrader December 31, 2006 at 10:46 am - Reply

    Very nice!
    All I want is a new battery for my 17″ MacBook Pro. Until two days ago it lasted up to 4 hours — but since yesterday it simply switches off the machine without any prompt although the battery life indicator in the upper right corner says “1 hour left”. Sony, whats up with the batteries you deliver to Apple? The last ones burned, the current ones break down after 3 months of use.

  3. Daniel Thanos December 31, 2006 at 1:56 pm - Reply

    Very nice. Happy New Year to all!
    I also want more than 2 hrs for my MacBook Pro!

  4. George Geder December 31, 2006 at 4:41 pm - Reply

    Thank you for your illuminating posts.
    I can laugh and learn something all at the same time.
    Best wishes to you and all in 2007!

  5. Carlos Caicedo December 31, 2006 at 5:32 pm - Reply

    Thank you Guy for your posts. Happy new year!

  6. Carlos E Gonzalez December 31, 2006 at 7:52 pm - Reply

    Felicidades Guy. Happy New Year. was so cool to read your blog this year. Cheers y Feliz año Nuevo.

  7. Kuba Choinski January 1, 2007 at 3:55 am - Reply

    Happy new year Guy! Santa has brought me a new white MacBook so I’m fully converted. And battery last 4 hours 😉

  8. Andreas Schneider January 1, 2007 at 4:19 am - Reply

    Happy New Year, Guy. Are the Batteries realy so bad in the Mac Book Pro? I`m thinking about to buy me one, but when i read your wishes and the comment from Julian…..i don`t know…
    You can have a great computer with lousy battery life or a lousy computer with great battery life. Pick one! 🙂

  9. Kimber January 1, 2007 at 8:24 am - Reply

    Thanks for ending 2006 with a laugh!
    Positive energy for 2007.

  10. Shefaly Yogendra January 1, 2007 at 10:39 am - Reply

    Battery life seems to be the common cold of computing – just like medicine can deal with cancer but the common cold stays its 7-day course…
    Shouldn’t we all wish for longer battery life and pray hard to ensure somehow better battery technology becomes real in this new year?

  11. hemal January 2, 2007 at 1:27 am - Reply

    hi Guy,
    This is by far the funniest year ending post i have read and love it so much. With the year ending and New one coming up, wanted to thank you on starting up this blog and sharing your views across to all of us. It has been a roller coaster ride last year, and hoping for a smooth drive in this one.
    Wish you and your family a very happy new year, and blessing from the mighty above for all the success you deserve.
    Once again thank you very much.
    Hemal Desai

  12. .space January 2, 2007 at 5:33 am - Reply

    Guy, so are you back now? We missed Apple’s legendary evangelist over the last few years. Just wanted to say thanks for being there during the rough – beleaguered – embattled (is that really a real word?) years!
    Steve’s great, vindication rocks.

  13. David January 2, 2007 at 5:49 am - Reply

    Hey Guy, my Macbook Pro(15) runs a solid 3.5 hours with the backlighting reduced just under 1/2. This is with typical solid web and itunes use. (no itunes video though – that is a cpu hog and battery killer)

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